Bind my hands, so I can drown
by Zukinn Chan
Summary: Because of lies I bleed out...There is always a greener pasture, and what seems like happiness for one is only a facade for another. AyameCentric Fiction.
1. Sickness

Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. Nothing concerning it belongs to me, and if I did indeed claim it to be, I would be a great deal poorer in the purse, and very rich in Flames, in as little time as is imaginable.

Title: "Bind my hands, so I can drown."

Author: Zuki-chan.

Rating: T?

Chapter: 1?

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**One.**

"Could you please put these away for me, my dear?"

Managing a business would be dreadfully difficult without dear Mine-san. She smiles, replies with her usual, "Yes shopkeeper!", and takes my box of ribbons to be sorted in some spare time. When I am working on a new project, I often shut myself in the side room and work for hours on end, so naturally I don't have time to worry about sorting trivial odds and ends of ribbons, buttons, fabrics and other delightful things. Naturally, my devotion shines within the finished project- I sometimes liken them to shining winged doves, waiting to be released once my finished works are put to use.

I stride out of my 'Work Station' and set to the task of making sure that the rest of my magnificent shop is in order. After all, dearest Yuki-kun shall be arriving soon, and he explained in lengthy (And boring) detail that he did not wish for me to act embarrassing this time. As he is such a sweet boy, I shall not chastise him- Me, "_Embarrass_" Yuki? Imagine! Nevertheless, I closed the shop early- at this time, on such a lovely spring afternoon, the shop would be at its peak.

Yuki and I have never been on such lovely terms, although I can hold some part of Tohru-kun's words to remain true. I'm afraid that, as charming and handsome as I am, Yuki and I can only ever meet halfway.

Mine is talking with her usual enthusiasm to someone up the front, so I can only assume it is Yuki-kun. Trying to stop myself from flinging at the visitor, I instead merely glide over to the two, my platinum hair playing interesting shapes across the slightly coarse texture of my overcoat.

"Yukiii!" The Façade strengthens, and continues to grow. I try my best to subdue my excitement, but that was never my strong suite. Yuki only tries to stay at the level of tolerance that he keeps for just about anything- except Tohru-kun. I don't blame him- she is an extraordinary individual.

"Nii-san, you-" Yuki begins, sounding a little cross. Naturally, I ignore him, and instead guide him towards the couch, and tell him to wait while I fetch him some tea. Mine excuses herself and goes off to work on projects that I requested of her- she is a lifesaver!

Yuki-kun is already looking bored by the time I return. Frankly, I don't blame him- I wouldn't be enthralled about this if I were in his predicament, either. He cautiously sniffs the tea, and almost too hastily places it back down on the table.

After what seems an eternity trying to commit himself, he finally asks, "How have you been?" I can almost taste the reluctance in his words.

"Ah, I have been doing wonderfully, little brother!" I begin, and launch into a complete recount of how prosperous the store has been lately.

Although he maintains an interested mask, he seems anything but concerned, and I must admit, after all these times, I am hardly interested either. Finally, when it seems enough, I finish, and continue with, "But how are you, Yuki-kun?"

He smiles faintly, and replies that he has been fine.

"School is busy, and the student council makes it a little more difficult, but it's still manageable. Miss Honda is also well, and-" I can't help myself, and smile, trying not to laugh.

"So tell me, dear brother, does she kiss well?" That's blown it. I swear, if I hadn't known already that he was capable of causing great pain, the look he is giving me now tells me so. Although, he looks a little flustered. I know how he truly feels about her- it isn't very difficult to see, even for myself.

I saw the same look in Kyonkichi's eyes once when he was speaking to her. It truly is a little saddening, to me at least, to see how quickly Yuki especially is finding more solace in Tohru than myself, when the dear girl isn't even trying nearly as hard as I am. I suppose some gifts come naturally, while others can never be obtained…

"That had nothing to do with the conversation!" He snaps, his eyes cold "Don't change the subject to things that aren't of anyone's concern."

I would have felt somewhat upset at his manner, but one becomes used to it. He wouldn't mean the way in which he is behaving at the moment, anyway, so it doesn't really matter. He understands that this is the way I am, but I must admit, I do try his patience a little often.

"Tsk tsk, you should not be so nasty all of the time." I reply, grinning.

He seems at a loss of what to say, then comes back with, "If you weren't so ridiculous all of the time, then perhaps you would be more manageable!"

Ouch! Instead of concentrating on his words, I hastily study his face. It seems… paler? And even though he argues with a heavy force, his words seem somewhat labored. Interesting.

"Oh, are you alright, Yuki-kun?" I ask abruptly. He does worry me sometimes.

"Don't change the subject!" he snaps angrily.

Ah, what a dear, sweet hypocrite. Weren't you just complaining a little while ago about things that did not concern the subject? I care enough about him to worry about how he is feeling, even if it does not appear to be so, and I consider his health to always concern the sole subject- himself.

I hate things being hidden from me. I suppose it is _all_ a little hypocritical.

"Dear Yuki-kun," I begin, standing up and moving over to him. I could have sworn he looked frightened for a moment. Am I that spontaneous, or does he dislike my company that much, that he doesn't feel at ease? I suppose it should not surprise me. "I don't think that you are all that well." I state, placing a slender hand on his forehead- such looks have always run in our area of the Sohma family, and I can not disprove the often-thought statement that I am indeed a handsome specimen (Try as I may, you understand!).

I realize what is wrong, albeit much too late.

He murmurs, "Nii-san…" before his constricted breathing takes hold of him, and face blushed, darkness takes him.

Please review- I would like as many suggestions for improvement as possible, when given reason. If there is something that is working, please tell me, so I know what I have been doing correctly in your opinion.

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**Zuki-chan.**


	2. Observation

I'll take this chance now to thank you all for reviewing: I was really surprised! I must admit, though, this was only supposed to be a fiction that I was writing in my spare time- I'm working on another Furuba fiction (And posting the less popular Yuki-chan in Wonderland's chapters), and a fanfiction on another fandom (Might and Magic). I'll try to update a little more often, when I can!

Anyway, this chapter deals with not only Aya and Yuki, but also the doctor of the Sohma Household, Hatori…

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"He's fine, you can stop worrying now." Ah, the dependable Tori-san: One third of the Mabudachi Trio, and the only person I can truly look up to. A special friend, although one that is clearly hung up on regret, even if only a little, over his dear lost Kana.

"Are you sure, Tori'?" I ask, merely wanting him to verify his own words. It's amazing how precise and to the point he can be. I idly twirl a strand of hair around my fingers, to take my mind off what had almost happened. Why try to confront something that you have no chance of amending?

"Yes, I'm sure," Tori' replies in his usual impatient tone, often used with dear Gure-san, and myself, "It was only a temporary flare. A few quick doses of ventolin were enough to suffice, and he should regain consciousness quickly."

He sighs again, and fixes me with his usual 'You aren't understanding a word of this, are you?' stare. There is a little sympathy in those eyes, though. He is an amazing person.

"Well, that's good then!" I smile, clasping my hands together in joy. The only emotions worth keeping to the surface are the happy ones. Tori' is different. He remains cold and indifferent throughout, and only very rarely lets the warmer emotions break out.

Mine comes to us and hands us both cups of tea, before bidding me adieu, and leaving. Hatori's reaction to the tea is much the same as Yuki's was. Their manner has always been very similar.

As soon as dear Mine leaves, Tori' congratulates me. "I'm glad you called me for a reason," he says, which is rather silly, as I always call him for a reason, "Although why you employ that girl is beyond me." A quick study of myself, and he seems that he knows why, anyway.

"Mine is a life-saver!" I interrupt, still happy at his compliment, hollow as it was, "If it weren't for her immediate concern, I wouldn't have known what to do!" Judging by his expression, it seems that Tori' agrees with that last statement.

It is around this time, during the almost awkward silence, that Yuki decides to wake up. Earlier, when Tori' arrived, and had given my dear brother that life-saving spray, he had regained consciousness for the ordeal, which was necessary for Yuki to become well. I suppose that his body was tired, and that was why he passed out for a second time. Dear Yuki sits up on the couch Mine and I had dragged him to, looking a little dazed. Although, he looks like that for most of the time, I suppose.

Naturally, I rush over to him, and hug him mercilessly, letting an odd assortment of sentences run wild, much like, "Yuki, are you alright?", "I was so worried!", "Tori-san is here!", "Your hair is in a bad state!" I tend to babble about anything and everything when I can't think of anything better to say.

Yuki glares, and tries to push me away- not that I'm very surprised by that, mind. Tori' watches this struggle through his seemingly cold eyes, but I can sense a shred of amusement. I don't find it very funny, but it doesn't really matter. Yuki seems to always be like this. Always wanting what he can't have, and failing to see what he already does. It reminds me of a few other people...

As I finally give up, Yuki brushes himself off, always the scornful gentleman, and immediately turns to Tori', asking, "What happened?" Does he not trust me? Wait, hold that thought…

"Apparently you passed out," Tori' tells him, sounding a little glad to be talking to someone who would understand him better, "Asthma attack, I would gather. Ayame called me as soon as he could, so I was able to get down here quickly."

"Ah, well, that is good." Yuki replies in his oh-so diplomatic tone He turns to Tori' and myself directly, and smiles. "Thank you." Such a manufactured smile. I can imagine he has practiced it often.

Pockets of general conversation erupt here and there during the course of the next half hour. One of us strikes up a conversation, the others contribute, and it is stamped away almost as quickly as it arises. Finally, Tori' checks around for a clock, and suggests to dear Yuki, "It's quite late, would you like a lift back to Shigure's house?" Yuki nods, and thanks Tori' in advance. They ask me if I would like to come along also, as they head for the door, but I decline, coming up with such excuses as that I feel much too tired at the moment to handle the joy of seeing dear 'Gure again.

I smile and they leave, on my parting promise that I shall, of course, visit Yuki as soon as possible. Perhaps tomorrow- I haven't visited in quite some time. I don't need to say so to Tori'- he knows that I will call him soon, anyway, to listen to his office room while I babble and he ignores.

The car wheels away, splashing up a small puddle, and it seems that even the birds have stopped singing.

Alone again.

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Well, there's chapter two! Please review! 


	3. Butterfly

Thank you, all of my reviewers! I know some of you have been waiting, so here's chapter three! I've been trying to keep it as a part time story, because if I worry about it too much, it probably won't end up as successful as when I write things without worrying…

Anyway, Aya pays a visit to Shiggy's house today!

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The sky is a lovely pastel blue today, and the birds are singing, like in a dream. It reminds me, as I walk along the path to Gure's house, that I should really begin on my present for Mine- she has been so helpful lately, I believe she deserves a gift.

I wonder, will dear Yuki be surprised to se me? Probably. Will he be happy? No. Ah well, I still get to see Gure', and tease Tohru-kun and Kyonkichi. Come to think of it, Gure-san will be rather surprised also. I can imagine what he will say…

A butterfly interrupts its worship of the flowering Cherry Blossoms to inspect my basket. I smile, happy for the creature. I really do like butterflies- they are such creatures of beauty. Dazzling, and yet important to the world, in a secret way only they know.

As Yuki was sick yesterday, my traveling gift is only appropriate- I asked the grocer to especially include many peaches. Last time I brought them, they were such a success!

The streets are surprisingly empty for this time of day, although the odd child stops to stare at me, static in the midst of playfulness. It is the nature of the ignorant, to discriminate difference. I often fancy that they are trying to comprehend my overall style- I prefer to remain ambiguous. I suppose such a masquerade is fitting. I wonder if Yuki would have been able to enjoy his life as much as these children, if given different circumstances. Somehow, I doubt it. Even with mother acting differently, I think that is just how his usual manner is. How very boring.

Dearest Gure-san is sweeping outside when I arrive. Well, at least, that is what he appears to be doing. He tells me that he often spends time when he is 'Sweeping' to dwell on things. I could hazard that these things may be of High School girls, or maybe even of Akito, but I still cannot be sure. Although he is one of my dearest friends, perhaps even more so a brother to me than Yuki, I don't think there is anyone who knows what he is thinking.

He seems shocked at first, and then his face melts into a complete smile. "Aya!" He drops his broom, which indeed, kicks up little dust at all. He was thinking over things again. I really should do that more often as well, now that I think of it…

There is no audience, but Gure and I run to each other for the sake of it- those stale romance movies are most useful references. "Aya, I've missed you so much!" Gure' loves our little game.

"Ah, I can imagine!" I reply, for this must be indeed true. How could one not, really?

All of the fuss has brought around the interest of the three 'boarders' of Gure's domain- I am sure Kyonkichi and Yuki come to confirm their fears, more than anything.

"Ayame!" Tohru-kun exclaims, forgetting her vigilant manners for a moment, I suppose. It is funny, sometimes, to see so much joy she can have, when so many things can trouble her. A true gem. Kyonkichi and my darling brother only groan inwardly. How most rude, though I don't suppose I can blame them.

"Tohru-kun, how very lovely it is to see you again, most lovely princess." I say, taking her hand slowly, laying on the thickest veil of charm. Tohru, of course, is blushing furiously. Sometimes I do not think that it is possible to blush so, but then, I have Tohru as living proof.

"Oh, no, you don't need to say that!" Tohru says quickly, every bit the less dramatic Ritsu. Of course, that's not a bad thing, mind…

"Nonsense!" I laugh, the same way that most people seem to buy, "Now run along and fetch me some tea!" Tohru, of course, rushes off to see to my request. Yuki and Kyonkichi don't seem too pleased, however…

"Nii-san, don't say such things!" Yuki snaps. I tell him that I am only giving her something to do, as idle hands make trouble, but he replies with, "You're just so unnecessarily rude! I refuse to continue this conversation!" and storms off. Very temperamental. One day, I shall make up my past ills to him, and he will believe it. Kyonkichi only glowers, and leaves, presumably to see how dear Tohru-kun is managing. No matter, I shall bother him later. I'm not sure why he dislikes my nickname for him. As he is that accursed Cat, I should think that he should be grateful for my careful generosity towards him.

Once the others are gone, Gure' turns to me. "Aya, why are you here?" he asks blithely.

I grin. I knew he'd ask. We usually plan my little trips together.

"I just wanted to visit," I quite reasonably say, "Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Yes, there's nothing wrong with that," Gure' says quickly, but looks doubtful, one of the most truly serious expressions he harbours, "But-"

I cut him off, perhaps a little too quickly. "A little spontaneity never hurt anyone," I reason, pause, then add, "And besides, I've brought a Fruit Basket for Yuki, as he was sick earlier!" It wouldn't do to say that I had come because I was feeling lonely.

"Oh!" Gure' exclaims, brightening considerably at the mention of something that he can benefit from, "How delicious! I shall go and fetch Yuki right now!" And off he runs, happy again.

I sigh, and grin. Crisis averted.

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Please review! I would appreciate it! And remember to tell me if there is anything you don't find appropriate, or like very much, so I can learn from that!

Zuki-chan.


	4. Smile

Hi everyone! Sorry it's been months since I last updated on this story- I wasn't going to continue at all, but then I thought, there's a few people that will murder me if I don't post a new chapter soon (Something that cheers me up no end, seriously!), so here it is.

(I've been kind of moving away from my Furuba fandom as it is, and I've got a few other stories I've been working on, but to tell the truth, this chapter was just really difficult for me to write. That's probably why I stopped writing. -Babbles-)

I also thought I'd point out that the title is not my own genius creation, but rather, a line from a Song I quite liked at the time that I began this story. It's from the translation of "_Stop_", by Omar Naber, who was an entrant in the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest (I forget what language it was). The beginning line of the chorus is, of course, "_Bind my hands, so I can drown, because of Lies I bleed out…_"

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The character that it mainly involves is everyone's favorite Kyonkichi!

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The basket is a success. Everyone loves it, especially the peaches. I'm quite glad- my quest to impress Yuki has been going downhill severely, lately. 

More general talk with Gure dearest, which successfully disgusts the two boys, and confuses dear Tohru, and then Kyonkichi asks what was surely on everyone's minds…

"You're not… goin' to stay, are you?" Kyonkichi asks, not bothering to mask his contempt of me. I really admire how he has no need to apply a false smile, a cheerful posture- except for when he is dealing with Tohru, of course. I always try to jolly along dear Yuki, to guide him to make a better move towards the girl, but I fear that his chance is fading. Even if he does not see it, Kyou and Tohru are drawing close together every time I see them.

Something shatters me a little, perhaps because the tone in the Cat's voice is very reminiscent of that of Yuki's?

"No no, don't worry," I say, and stand up abruptly, "I won't be staying the night."

It's silly of me, I know, but I turn and walk out of the room, despite Gure rising quickly, calling out, "Aya, wait!"

I walk out of the residence in a bit of a rush. I can hear Gure's raised voice: first confused, then falsely angry. There are some angry murmurs, probably either Yuki or Kyonkichi, and some faint words. Probably Tohru-kun, pleading with the others to stop arguing, I'm not sure.

I'm still not able to pinpoint why I felt so empty at Kyon asking me a question that was surely on everyone's minds. I hadn't intended to stay the night, anyway- I am not entirely fond of being shunted to the lounge room to sleep. Indeed, any of the residents should gladly give up some space for Ayame Sohma, shouldn't they?

It is really quite lucky that the weather is so fortunate today- Springtime is usually a safe time for a Snake-cursed one such as myself- Not too warm, not too cold. In such a pleasant weather, high spirits are usually very infectious…

What will I do when I reach home? I'm not entirely sure. Mine has probably closed the shop by now. Maybe I shall work on one of my newest orders- A few of my regular customers are holding a wedding, and all of the attendants want matching costumes. 16 individual outfits, similar, but different enough to make each feel unique. I'll have fun designing those.

I should really pick up something to eat for tea tonight, as I hardly feel like cooking tonight, but I can't be bothered appearing happy to yet another person, be it only a shopkeep. It just gets so tiresome!

The sun is beginning to set, sending out a few colourful shades, a promise of a dazzling farewell. I stop by the side of the road, to watch. I am almost home, anyway, and needn't worry about finding my way to it.

There is the sound of pounding footsteps a little way off- someone is undoubtedly in a hurry. I sometimes get that way when a shop is about to close, and I have yet to purchase anything from it. They slow down as they grow louder, but I ignore them, as I am very used to this tactic. I do it all the time, after all. I instead turn my attention to watching the final few cherry blossom petals fall, almost twinkling in the narrowing of the sun's rays. They are now a very lovely Spring palette of colours, gold rays gleaming in between. It truly is beautiful.

"Damn idiot, I've finally found you!" exclaims the voice to which those footsteps belong to, quite out of breath. How curious, it almost sounds like Kyonkichi.

I turn casually around, and there is that accursed Cat, almost doubling over from a lack of a constant source of air. He must have sprinted the entire way over here. How odd.

Kyon looks up at my curious face, and scowls- not that he doesn't at any other time, though. "What is it, Kyou?" I ask, continuing to leave myself unguarded. Meet him at the same level, for once.

He almost reels from my simple words- did my use of his proper name shock him so?

He quickly recovers, and holds up my basket. "Er, you left your basket. Shigure wanted me to bring it back to you," he says begrudgingly, holding the basket straight out in front of him. I say nothing, but only stare right back at him. The sunset is shining at its most magnified state right behind me, and it makes it difficult to see. Perhaps that is why Kyon is avoiding my gaze.

"Well, here it is!" he grunts, glaring harder than ever, all but throwing the basket at me. I take it from him, and nod.

"Thank you." What else is there to say? Yes, I am selfish for using the silent approach for no immediate reason, but I am not in pleasant mood, and Kyon will have to deal with that. Kyonkichi stands there, still at a loss for civilized words. Why doesn't he just leave?

As it seems that he isn't going to be doing anything, I turn to leave. I must do something about dinner.

However, Kyon seems to make up his mind about what he is going to do, and blurts out, "Hey, wait!"

Of course, I am not rude. I stop, and turn to face him once more. He has an indefinitely sour look upon his face, as if he were contemplating weather to say something or not.

"Yes?" I say, careful to remain cold.

"Well," Kyou begins, somewhat reluctantly, "I just…" He stops, glaring at me again, before making a large effort to smooth over the negative expression on his face. "I'm… sorry for talkin' like that, I just wanted to know in you were staying," he says, still sounding decidedly grumpy, "Didn't think you'd actually listen to something I said."

He looks almost… yes! Embarrassed! Kyonkichi! And at his own actions, too, not mine.

"Oh, but of course I did," I reply, cheerful once more, "I always listen- I would suppose it's just how I interpret things that differ!"

Kyou looks surprised at this, as if he doesn't know what to think of me. Exactly the way I always want it to be, isn't it?

Well, seeing something like that, I can't help but smile.

And do you know what?

He does too.

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Yep! A little more cheerful of an ending, ja? I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but I can't guarantee when the next one will be, as I haven't any more written up. So I guess my roundabout point is- Enjoy the chapter when you can! 

Zuki.


	5. Dress

Hello all! I've had this chapter stored away for ages, all typed up, too lazy to post it. Then, our computer died! And just now, I thought, I should honestly type this up and post it, laziness or not. So here it is!

This chapter involves Ritsu! Hurrah! He's probably my favorite character in Furuba, apart from Ayame, of course. However, I haven't seen or read of him for ages, so I'm sorry if he's a little OOC (Hey, can't get more OOC than Ayame, anyway, I guess). Guess what! I'm starting to formulate a plot! Or, at least, that's what I'm hoping. -Sigh-

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I am going shopping today! After all, it is the done thing, to go out and replace one's fridge with new wares. I haven't been feeling much like eating recently, but, you know how it is. Got to keep up the norm. Besides, something has been frustrating me, and I simply cannot stand being in the house any longer.

I had been trying to work on Mine's dress. I have been in fairly high spirits of late, unusual for how I had been feeling for the past few months. I thought, "Why might I not start Mine's dress, so as to capture this fantastic mood?" It took me so long to convince Mine to take a few days off. She even pleaded with me, offering to attend without pay. She loves our shop. If I were to someday hand it over, I would gladly give her the keys. I doubt Yuki would be glad to inherit my palace! Ha ha!

Anyway, I finally got rid of dearest Mine, and began to create my masterpiece. But everything was going wrong. The length too long, the proportions odd. I even began sewing with the wrong hue of fabric. I persisted, so as to have it close to finishing standard, but to no avail. I almost threw the sewing machine across the sewing room, but I refrained myself, and instead went to find myself something to eat. Empty stomachs cause bad tempers, after all! And it was then that I discovered that I needed to go shopping.

So here I am, basket full of whatever is easy enough to grab before I can read the label. I used to be quite fond of cooking. That was what I wanted, if I did not make it in fashion. I wanted to cook things, to make things, shape them with my own hands. Things that could be used by people. All kinds of special people. But I have my shop now, and I haven't had want to cook recently, anyway. A chill wind blows past, unusual for this time of Spring, and I can feel that happy warmth fading. Quickly, I look around for a distraction. Something good; exciting, perhaps. And, as if by complete chance, I find one sitting on a roadside chance.

"Ritsu-chan!" I exclaim, dashing over to the startled young man, all bubbles and sunshine. The dear Monkey almost faints from shock, but quickly composes himself, lest his shock annoy me.

"Ayame-san?" he ventures, in that soft-yet-edgy voice of his, and just as quickly, he begins to panic. "But, of course it was you!" I know you well! Oh, but not too well! I'm not a stalker! I wouldn't dream of- Not that you wouldn't be worthy of being stalked, and I- I-"

"Rit-chan!" I shout, firmly, catching him by the arm. "I am most fine! I am Ayame Sohma, am I not? So, no worrying, dear Rit-chan!" Ritsu stops flailing as soon as I catch his arm, but even now as he looks at me, I can see he is breathing heavily.

"Y-yes," he replies, frowning a little, but trying to stay calm. "I… I'm sorry, Ayame-san," Ritsu adds, drawing his hand away from me, so as to bow. With the pretty kimono, and his constant apologizing, one could easily mistake Ritsu for an older woman.

"Not at all!" I dismiss him quickly, and sit down on the bench he was situated at only a little while earlier. I gesture for him to sit next to me, and look over at the tree that stands behind us. The curvy- yet sharp -branches frame the seat, and the blossoms are naturally beautiful.

"So, Rit-chan," I begin, smiling at the Monkey as he sits down, "What brings you into the area? Are you not still living with your mother?"

Ritsu flinches, but launches into an explanation. "Y-yes, I do still live with Mother and Father, but they… thought it would be best, if I have a few days to myself, so I came into town." Now, surely Ritsu would not easily accept that offer? It is hardly his manner, after all.

"Now, I usually wouldn't do that!" he blurts out quickly, "I don't want to be a burden! But, Mother hasn't been well recently, and Father thought that… Maybe, maybe she would get better if I wasn't around. So, I thought, perhaps I should take a holiday for a little while. Not that I deserve it! I've been talking too much! I'm wasting your time! I'm sorry! I apologize! I'm sorry!" His voice grows increasingly high pitched as he goes on, and I smile to mask my recognition of this.

"Rit-chan, don't worry! You do not need to apologize! I don't mind in the slightest," I assure, as I try to calm him down. But Ritsu does get ever so twitchy when he gets into one of his moods. I catch him by the arm, but Ritsu doesn't appear to want to be calmed, and he springs to his feet-

We both freeze at the sound of a loud tear. Ritsu looks beside him and lets out a loud wail as he sees that his sleeve has caught on a branch, and has torn badly, exposing a bare arm underneath. He begins thrashing again. "I am so unworthy! I had to tear the dress, after I had been boring you, talking about myself! Selfish, selfish, SELFISH! I don't deserve the clothes I wear, or the people I talk to, or the air I breathe! I am a failure!"

I sigh, take off my overcoat, and hand it to Ritsu. (Well, tackle him and throw it at him, might be a teensy bit closer to the truth…)

"Ritsu!" I say, "Ritsu, let's not worry! Come with me back to my shop, I'm sure I can help you with your little fashion problem!" I hardly give him a chance to reply as I usher him towards my street. Although, that is exactly my style, isn't it? No consideration, no worries for hurt feelings, nothing…

Ritsu looks completely embarrassed by the time I steer him into my shop. "N-no, Ayame-san, you are much too kind. Much too kind for a wretch like me, a-and-" I look around for an appropriate needle and thread set, eager to find something to change the subject, to halt his onslaught. Honestly, Ritsu is very sweet and all, but the issues of selfishness and grief aren't exactly something I would like to focus on right now. Suddenly, I am struck with a brilliant idea!

"My dear Rit-chan, please wait here! I have just thought of something wonderful!" I cry, and dash off before he can even object, or say something else. When I return, Ritsu blushes and initially objects, but complies at my insistence. After all, I am not usually one that can be turned down so easily, right?

Of course, he looks perfect. So ill fitting and unflattering as it would have been on Mine, the dress looks wonderful on Ritsu. I fuss and babble about how wonderfully it suits him, as I settle down to mend the dress that he had torn, and Ritsu squirms with embarrassment at the attention. Sadly, a lot of people are predictable, and this rings true for Ritsu, perhaps most of all. How I would love to see him put aside his worries, and become more spontaneous, like me! Although, I also regret… Ritsu is able to vent his fears so much easier than I can. It is merely expected of him. Myself, however- I cannot.

"Oh, that's right," Ritsu pipes up, dragging me up from my thoughts. I look up, attentive, alert and cheery. The mood changes when Ritsu continues.

"I was talking to Hatori."

I can't stop the flicker of happiness blowing out for a few moments, but I put up my best mask, and Ritsu hardly notices.

"Really? How lucky! How is dear Tori-san, Rit-chan?"

"Well, he's fine," Ritsu says, sounding dubious, and then looks me directly in the eyes, "But he was asking about you."

"Oh, what did he ask about me?" The smile is forced, but it's the most I can do, what with my heart racing. Why would Tori-san ask about me?

Ritsu looks up worriedly. "He's been worried about you," he says slowly, watching my face, undoubtedly for some indication of my mood. Uninterrupted, he continues. "He's noticed how distant you seemed when he last saw you, how you haven't been calling him. Even Kyou and Yuki are worried, and, really you haven't seemed as cheerful as you usually are, too, I must say."

My eyes open wide. This can't be true; everyone has always been fooled so well. They… They've remained so ridiculously oblivious, nothing lending any hint- so perfectly led! My head whirls in a cacophony of thoughts, emotions, and fear- fear- FEAR.

Ritsu rushes over. "Ayame, Ayame," he wails in terror, "I'm sorry! You're so pale! I didn't mean to tell you, only Hatori, and everyone- they were so worried, worried about you, and I-"

His words are lost on me, as I, so much like my dear brother, fall into a slump, and darkness washes takes over.

* * *

Zuki. 


End file.
